I have no pictures of my own to share with you today, but I
do have a lot to talk about… or rather, a lot to say through my fingers… I’m doing absolutely nothing but collecting
moments these days—a very unusual approach indeed for one who is easily bored
and whose over active brain pushes her to her limits; always dreaming about
something, painting something, writing about something, creating something in
the garden in the house in the oven… thus,
I must write or I must die.
I wrote for hours yesterday morning; sitting in the lobby of the hotel where we’re staying, waiting for my husband to return from the meetings
he’s attending to at the Loma Linda University Medical Center, here in
California. I was there the day before yesterday
for a few hours myself; sitting in the lobby by where the cadavers to be
studied by the medical students lay quietly tucked away in glistening white
vinyl. Something not easy to endure, I
can tell you that… especially if you starts imagining things like… the cadavers
slowly waking up, one by one sitting straight up in their cold metal tables to
engage in hilarious conversations among each other. At that point, I decided I best be going lest
my imagination went the wrong way and the cadavers started coming out into the
lobby. I fled.
It was so warm and sunny and beautiful outside. I felt so sorry for those cadavers lying so
quiet in that cold room were they keep them; not able to see what we see. And how interesting and exciting this world
is. On my way to find the cafeteria I
approached a woman to ask for directions… oh this is such a huge immense place
that if you don’t pay close attention to where you’re going you could easily get
lost in the same spot… I know I’m good at doing that.
She was the nicest woman with whom I promptly became friends. She gave me the sweetest of surprises too when she asked for my name and then pronounced it with the most correct pronunciation ever. Many years ago she was a missionary in Mexico and became fluent in Spanish…
We talked in a combination of both languages for a long time. I learn that she have some relatives living
in the same town where the house in the roses is, and I happen to know them too. Isn’t this a small world? She told me that her dad, long gone by now,
was a medical professor at the university and how as a little girl she and her
siblings would go to his classroom and knock on the windows to say hello. She showed me where his classroom used to be. Isn’t this the most sweet of a story! It brought tears to my eyes. And how short life is… don’t you think
so? It should be forever me think…
San Bernardino, Riverside… the
entire state of California is a most lovely place. Trees and
shrubs are already in bloom everywhere you look. I have seen
so many flowering shrubs with the loveliest of blooms I’ve never seen
before... and rose bushes are everywhere too.
Not a single rose to be seen yet, but bushes are brimming with green,
supple leaves and young verdant shoots. They have
reignited my love for roses all over again. Oh oh and yesterday afternoon we drove by an orange field! What a
lovely sight that was… rows and rows of trees of a rather small stature brimming with
perfect yellow round fruits hanging from supple green boughs…. Marvelous.
I had one of those most fruitless nostalgic days on Sunday,
where you just think too much and miss your loved ones too much. I felt miserably cheerless… my little heart
shrinking with yearning and thoughts of the girls I left behind. Their
voices still hanging in my heart; their love in my eyes.
Do you ever feel like that sometimes? I mean does love pours from your eyes sometimes
too? You know what I mean when all of a
sudden all those marvelous feelings you have towards those you love are so strong,
wholesome and marvelous that they just come up rushing to your eyes where
they’d all accumulate there until finally they burst? It happens to all the time.
I love Maya Angelou.
Deep at the
center of my being there is an infinite well of gratitude. I now allow this
gratitude to fill my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being.
This gratitude radiates out from me in all directions, touching everything in
my world, and returns to me as more to be grateful for. The more gratitude I
feel, the more I am aware that the supply is endless. Thank you, Father of all.
Well my friends I hope I haven't tired you. But if you have read up to here I must think that you enjoy my nonsense and I should offer a heartfelt THANK YOU… for listening, for being there even if you won’t say a word. I still like to imagine you here. You saying ‘yes’ with your head, or ‘no’ with
your eyes… but always a big 'yes' with your heart.
We're be going home tomorrow... almost like a dream to me after being away from home for almost an entire month... can you imagine? See you in the South!
We're be going home tomorrow... almost like a dream to me after being away from home for almost an entire month... can you imagine? See you in the South!
LINKING TO:
Enjoyed your ideas! I understand how your heart might be melancholy leaving those beautiful girls! Yes, it is a small world. My grandmother always thought so, finding a friend amongst any group of strangers. Three columns are a bit harder to read in my iPad, but not that bad. If we read on an app, we lose everything on side bards anyway, I think.
ReplyDeleteI just love your posts like this one Cielo. You write from your heart and that is where the most beauty lies. It is not a surprise that you meet the most interesting people in the most unexpected places. These people will always be drawn to you and all the good feeling that come from you. Somehow I don't think these meetings are a coincidence.
ReplyDeleteYou are here in California at a good time, the weather is perfect, but that will change in the next few days when it gets hot. Have a safe trip home.
Sherry
This is a wonderful post, Cielo. There must have been something a bit disconcerting about sitting in that lobby. This was a beautiful post written straight from the heart- the kind I like best. So glad you are enjoying your time away though.
ReplyDeleteI can only see two columns fully; the one on the left and the middle one nd just about 1/2" of the column on the right. xo Diana
Oh oh that's what I was afraid of... thank you a million times for letting me know about this Diana! I
ReplyDeleteI am here my friend. ..... Have a safe trip home. I read you mostly by an app so i do not see side columns on most blogs. But then some I do. Do not know the difference.
ReplyDeleteWhat a day you had! Loved the cadaver story. I would like to hope they are all laying there listening to everything(-: I often think of donating a body to science to study. What a interesting thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAs for the emotional feelings coming forth. I feel that way everyday I see my Granddaughter. She probably thinks I am weird but tears just spring up when I see her. She is such a joy. I don't think I ever really got that whole tears of joy thing until I became a Grandmother(-:
Great story too about your new friend. Life is short and its good to remember to enjoy and be grateful! I know I am!!! Have a safe trip home!
What a lovely post. Working as a nurse I learned to be able to do the things I needed to for my patients who passed. I would usually have a nurse or two helping me and we would help each other deal with the loss of one of the kids we had taken care of. So I guess I just don't have any bad feeling or scary feelings about it. My sister passed 3 years ago and she choose to give her body to science. There is a place you can do that and they were very kind. She was proud of the fact that doing that may help someone else someday. After 6 months they sent a lovely box with her ashes for my niece. This month is the anniversary of her passing. It was just a few months after my mom. So I know those feelings of melachony. I know the times I miss the mom the most are when I think of something I want to call and tell her.
ReplyDeleteI am lucky to live near my daughter and her 2 daughters. They are my joy.
I have been to California, we lived there when I was very young and I remember barely. When I was in jr. high we drove there to see my grandfather. It is such a beautiful state.
Hope you have a safe trip home. And your blog looks great.
you asked about how your "blog-look", looks on our screens... so I will take this opportunity to say. :-)
ReplyDeleteI am on a 21" iMac, so I have a nice wide computer screen... but your blog wants to show up, very wide. now I know, I can "make it appear" smaller/less wide, by my 'command' and 'minus sign' keys. but! when I do that, your print is too small to easily read. -sigh-
and also, since you asked, your present set up (it actually looks like it is back to 2 columns) shows your sidebar, too wide. and thus, your main part, where your posts/photos show... is less important looking, as it were. and to me, where I write and show pics, is what I want my blog, to feature.
and something which may just happen to me... when I access your blog, I do not try to read it at first. because it always re-loads again... ????????? does this load-then-reload happen to any one else?
Tessa
and of course, I appreciate such a post, as this!
ReplyDeleteespecially since there are so few of them, to be found, in pretty blog land.
most people seem to shy away from sharing, what is in their minds or their hearts. and stick only to "hard things." furniture, dishes, walls, gardens, etc., etc. oh how delightful it is, when one comes on a blog, where one is let into thoughts, etc., of the blogger!!!
thoughts, wishes, dreams, longings, enjoyments, flights of fancy, etc. not _just_ the hard-material things.
if you know what I mean....
gentle hugs,
Tessa
:)
ReplyDelete