It amazes me—the markedly visible changes in
the natural world that can take place in just a short week. I am back home, back from a week of helping
and caring for my elderly parents down in Florida after the hurricane that had affected
that beautiful State. Now back to my
little world of wonders that has already changed so much in a wink of a week…
from the maturity of a tired summer, to a mellow, quieted early autumn. And the garden is already a field of leaves,
and there’s a noticeable change in the atmosphere of the woods, in the shadows that linger throughout the
house and the shaft of
light that kisses the world outside our little white cottage at 3:30pm.
It is a desolate, melancholic feeling and
the usual mood of autumn. More so,
because I have brought home with me from Florida a heart that’s been saddened by
the afflictions of Alzheimer that’s affecting my beautiful mother as she
struggles through life, and how she has so drastically declined in only a short
month since I saw her last, this past August.
Feelings of abandonment, and finitude have already taken possession of this
little heart of mine, that it is already mourning. And I find myself crying throughout the day,
searching for answers that I cannot find, coveting moments past, a childhood
memory, wishing for a complete sentence from lips that always spoke only of the
goodness in others. Eyes that can again search
mines without getting lost in the shadows past them. One more cuddle mom, a
walk on sturdy feet, one more meaningful embrace please mother come back to me.
Please postpone that long trip and stay by me...
I have already started packing things up as
we put our home for sale next week, and boxes are piling up. I am keeping only the necessary, only those
things that are dear to my heart in a dispensable way. Had been giving things away, and donating hundred
more. I don’t want to take with me
things I’m not using or know I won’t use any more. Taste changes, things change, the spirit changes. I’m not looking twice at those things I’m giving
away. I’m just letting others enjoy what
I had once enjoyed. Without a care in me
whatsoever I am freeing my soul of clutter as I declutter our house too. Not looking back. Not desiring what I once had coveted. Life is short. One must treasure only the present.
I hope you all are doing fine. Hope life gives you the best, the prettiest, the dear close to you, to hold and cherish and appreciate them. Please don’t forget to let those you love know how much you value them. Treasure each moment spent with them and forgive and forget that what is not rooted on love.
Peace be with you
Beautiful words borne of imminent sorrow. I'm so sorry about your mother. And I know you're sad about moving too. Life can be so hard.
ReplyDeleteBrenda
A lot hitting you at the same time. My Mother died at a fairly young age and it tore out a piece of my heart that has never healed. But, as I see this horrid disease hit others I know, I think I am truly grateful I never had to watch her fade away.
ReplyDeleteI just want to send a heart... <3 I have been down the path you walk with my own mother. Although it is a dark one, I can assure you only the good remains to travel with you forever. I am committing your wise words to practice about the clutter. <3
ReplyDeleteHugs to you. I know of your pain and my heart goes out to you. I have no other words.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your Mother. I have known many that have had that horrible disease that robs one of who they are. My heart goes out to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteIm so very sorry about your mommie. I know it is very difficult. But trust in God he knows what your going through and feeling.. much love... Janice
ReplyDelete