Thursday, October 27, 2016

Where is home?

I just arrived last evening from that part of the country where sits an old house in the roses, and where part of my heart still lives, and where I've been for the past ten days taking care of two precious darling smart loving wonderful little girls who are the light of my heart, while their parents went on a little vacation.  The landscape of the northwest is already immersed in its full autumnal glories; trees and shrubs are dressed in magical gowns and robes of vivid reds, toasted browns and bright yellows, and when you drive down those open country roads, you cannot help but being in total awe at the beauty and openness of a landscape that allows the vision of the entire world around you, in a grand, sweeping view of openness and endless golden fields and skies that portray all the truest and magical colors of it and forms of clouds...  Oh how I miss that place, and how part of my heart will always be there. 

I miss my little girls terribly, and felt deeply melancholic last night, particularly upon discovering the precious little notes they had tucked away secretly in my suitcase... I wanted then to become a little migrating bird and fly home, but I don't know exactly where home is, and the Fisherman was fervently waiting for my return too, and greeted me at the airport with a beautiful bouquet of red roses.  I can read his gentle heart, and felt sad for him, for I knew how much he had missed me.  

Last night, I walked our little white cottage from side to side and top to bottom, flinging wide every doors of every room to pause on every threshold and just drink in my surroundings, with the familiar arrangements of furniture and whatnots... and thought my heart felt loved, and warm and welcomed, still my soul glided about the quieted house feeling homesick, thought right at home... 

With the first light of day today, however, slowly came off the melancholic, colorless gowns of the night before, and I found myself wanting to explore my little world outside, which is already immersed in full autumnal swing too, with myriads of leaves covering every inch of ground, and gardens that seems to applaud my return.  This morning while at breakfast, birds were everywhere.  It was a most enchanting thing to see this great amount of birds taking possession of our gardens and pond, and it was as if they were showing their happiness for my return too, a welcoming show of sorts that kept my heart beating with the assurance that I am where I need to be. 

I went outside later and looked all around me... "I am here", I swung wide my arms to the voice of autumn and the lonely woods and to those trees.  "I am here", I repeated silently.   Did I dream all this?  And I suddenly wished to tell my little world something large, something to show that my trust in God hasn't been misplaced—how this migration of sorts to the south, which on many a days it is still not totally understood by us, and even regretted it, had lodged in me and grown... 

I have a lot more to share, but for now my heart is slowly adapting to my usual life and surroundings again, and that's all I can write for now.  I thank you all for your sweet birthday wishes and worries left out here for me to see and read...  I appreciate you all, and because I have come to know you by your comments and comings here, you are now dear friends to me, and I am always imagining you, how you may look, or how your laugh may sound, and whenever I go to places and smile and say hi to people I don't know, I like to think that that might be you, or you or you... and well, it makes me feel good ;).  Thank you for being here my friend!


  1. So happy that you are back....(((hugs)))

  2. You have been staying with grands, and all is well. -happy sigh- With you not feeling well, a while ago, my mind got going and I began to wonder and to worry. Please... Maybe... When you do something like this again... You go somewhere, but your home is not vacant, I mean... Please would you say you will be busy for awhile? Then we won't worry, at no posts. (and no IG either)

    I never like to see people say they are going away, and thus, their home will be empty. I'd prefer it, if people said; "Will not be blogging for a while..." Something not telling exact plans, but so readers won't worry.

    Eeeek, I am rambling! ,-) Happy to see a post. Extra happy that all is well.

    Late Autumn blessings,
    Luna Crone

  3. "still my soul glided about the quieted house feeling homesick, thought right at home..."

    These words, the idea that you were not feeling completely "home" in the south again, yet.... Reminded me of something, in a book. "Pattern Recognition" by William Gibson.

    The main character has flown from NYC to London, and is disoriented for a while. A friend of hers, has an explanation for this feeling. He said the soul doesn't fly over,in the plane. The soul takes time to cover the distance. And so that disoriented feeling, is due to the soul, still being reeled in, over the miles, from the plane's departing spot, to the place one has landed.

    It is an interesting thought. Just a thought, but still.... Interesting.

    Enough for me now. :-)

  4. oh my - I hope your heart begins to sing here in the South. I closed my biz and sold my home in WA state. I was miserable every day of my life there but tried to make the most of it. I could not stand the weather. I bought a tiny cottage in NC online in the mountains sight unseen in a town I had never heard or visited and loaded up all the fur kids and drove 3K miles to start a new life here in NC. I would never go back to the PNW, and wish I had moved far away from there years ago. But I do hope you are able to live where you will flourish. Many blessings. Wonderful pictures on your blog posts.


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