Monday, October 9, 2017

The house in the roses: 


Amazing blue and orange sunsets have been seeing us to sleep each night lately, and the biggest, clear skies have welcomed us home with opened arms.  If I stand in any of the open fields round here and look ahead toward the horizon, I can see that our earth is not flat, but rather it is convex everywhere…  I love driving on these completely clear plateaus with no obstacles between me and the horizon and consider the perfect roundness of our world.  These country roads of the NW tend to do that and always bring in me that sensation.  The openness of miles and miles of yellow fields, and the fact that we don’t have the abundance of trees we have in the south obstructing our vision on the ground, give us a clear view all-around for miles and miles of our wonderfully made round world. 

I should be joyful and eager to start this new life ahead of us, but it is a stressful time and on many a day I cannot feel or see the goodness that is in me anymore.  As if my soul is being shadowed by an edgy film… tense, and having or showing a harsh or unkind quality.  And I don’t like those feelings.  They are not me.  And they are.  And I don’t care anymore if I don’t feel sympathetic toward these people who while we were away from our dear house in the roses, had rented it and destroyed it. 

The garden is gone.  The house is a disaster.  It must be painted in its totality, soiled carpets need be removed, scratched and water damaged hardwood floors refinished and all the stainless-steel appliances replaced—abused and badly scratched as they have left them.  I’m not nice.  I don’t want to be nice.  I want to ask these people to get out and pay for all the damage they have done.  But I can’t.  We hadn’t even asked them for a deposit to start with.  We have learned our lesson.  Neither I want to know or think about the $12,000 the painting companies are asking us to have the job done.  And this is not counting the floorings or the new appliances.  At this point, I haven’t found a painter that would agree to my budget yet, and must probably I will have to do it all myself.   I am stressed, disappointed and disheartened, and I must return to the South on Thursday and deal with the move and the added stress related to the sale of our little white cottage.    

The day after tomorrow is my birthday.  I wish upon a star on dreams untold, and I wish that upon our definite return to the house in the roses all those dreams will be fulfilled.  I need to stumble upon my old, peaceful self again, embrace a life of solitude and prayer and relearn how to fly high, in hope and faith and abundant gratitude.  I feel ugly inside, and I must embark myself in a quest for the beauty of the spirit, for I have left all these graces somewhere along the road of temporality, and need them back in my life. 


  

34 comments:

  1. And this too shall pass and happiness will come again to The House in the Roses for you and your readers, to enjoy with you. Take care of yourself.

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    1. THANK YOU THANK YOU... I cannot express in all its depth how your words have helped me... bless you.

      Cielo

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  2. I am so sorry about your House. Renter are terrible and I would take them to court. I think $12,00 is a lot of money, I would keep looking especially if your have to pay to replace all your appliances.

    But one good thing you are back to your home and before you know it, it will be back again.

    Mary

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    1. $12,000 is more than I can think... Thankfully, I was finally and thankfully able to find a painter who would do the job for half that price...

      Cielo

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  3. Dearest Cielo, Take this opportunity to create a NEW House in the Roses, inside and out, as you create a NEW you. You WILL find your solace. This is who you are. You will make this place, that once was glorious, better and more peaceful than it was before. The house and the gardens will WELCOME YOU HOME, and be ever thankful that your love and devotion to making your space in the world as gracious and lovely as the Soul that you are, has returned to fix and make better all which you can. And you will.
    I love you. I appreciate all of the posts that you teach ME and encourage ME to go forth and make a Garden of Eden out of rocks and sticks, and a home out of a shell of a house. You have no idea the blessings you have given me with your faith and your visions of beauty, inside and out.
    Be at peace and go make it right! Love, Sandy

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    1. So so thank you for your words of wisdom and love... I so appreciate them! With all my thankful heart.

      Cielo

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  4. ...Again Cielo, you "will grow between the cracks of brokenness, and will make everything beautiful."
    Blessings,
    Rita

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    1. How beautiful... and true in the Lord. Thank you my friend, and sister in faith.

      Love ya

      Cielo

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  5. My logical mind, wants to address the "facts" first. How can there be no recourse, for the damage done, to your property??????? Who was the realtor, who arranged the rental of your property? Did they not make provisions, for such a happening? Can provisions, for damage, be made? In today's world, it would be logical, that they can/should have been.

    Does renting, allow destruction??????????

    Of course you have no room in your heart, to have any good thoughts, towards these slovenly people. They stole from you! Rental does not allow destruction.

    Me'thinks, 4 years ago, you both were so anxious to do "something," with this property, when it did not sell, that you jumped into this rental, without proper forethought. "They look like nice people." Was that your final thought, before decision was made? -sigh-

    Before you return to your former all-loving-self, you need to incorporate into your being, a healthy dose of self-preservation. You have learned, that all people, do not share your wish to be fair and loving.

    Please......

    Luna Crone

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    1. We never asked these people for a deposit, so we can't ask for money to cover damages. Plus... and here is the big one... they were our friends. Or I suppose they are still friends???? Don't know any more. But still uncomfortable to ask...

      cielo

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    2. Was there any kind of a contract? It seems to me that you have every right to ask these people for money to cover damages. And I would definitely not consider these people my friends anymore. How dare they damage your house like that! I am so sorry.

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    3. I know... that's exactly how I feel...

      Good to see you here Mel...

      Cielo

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  6. Oh Dear. I am so sorry about your House in the Roses. )-: I can not imagine how you must feel. Is it to late to change your mind and stay where you are? I guess I always thought your House in the Roses was just waiting for you to come home to. It is heart breaking that it is not. You have worked so hard on the Little White House. It is so beautiful, magical and inviting. I can not imagine having to start over again.

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    1. And you are so right Cindee... somehow we have always thought that the house in the roses were waiting for us... to come back to it and replant its heart. We are.

      Thank you for being here and for your kind words...

      Cielo

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  7. How you feel inside, is a perfectly normal human reaction, to being betrayed.

    Please do not "berate" yourself, for feeling this way.

    If you did not feel betrayed, with all the other bad feelings, which go with it, there would be something the matter with you, my Dear. You would have lost touch, with reality.

    It will take time, to regain your Peace. Shattered Peace and belief in the goodness of people, does not mend quickly. Give it time. Work on it. But do not add to your stress, by worrying about not feeling "Good". Please. It will come. It will come.

    A very Happy upcoming Birthday to you! If you could take even an hour, to be with yourself... To realize all that you have, which can not be taken away from you, by destructive people.

    Immerse yourself in these things... Love of your husband and family. Joy of returning to your children and grandchildren. Knowing you will have more lovely lunch dates, with that gorgeous daughter of yours. Those things! Those things! Submerge into them, for even an hour.

    I'm sure you will come away, with so much more determination and strength and resolve, to find your Peace again. To find your Joy again. Along with a wee bit of Self Preservation, thrown in, for good measure. :-)

    Many, many gentle hugs,
    Luna Crone

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    1. "Immerse yourself in these things... Love of your husband and family. Joy of returning to your children and grandchildren. Knowing you will have more lovely lunch dates, with that gorgeous daughter of yours. Those things! Those things! Submerge into them, for even an hour."

      THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

      Cielo

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  8. Happy Birthday to you! May this birthday herald the softening of the quite reasonable hard feelings you're dealing with because of the sad destruction of your lovely Home in the Roses while you were away.

    Perhaps while you're back down South, your family and friends in the NW can have a painting party using colors you've chosen or even a soft neutral color to cleanse the walls before your furniture arrives? Perhaps the appliances can get new panels to replace the scratched ones? Perhaps flower bulbs can be planted for a promise of springtime colors?

    Meantime, as I read long ago: "Shrea, shrea" That means take one thing at a time. No need for bothering with the big picture just now. Shrea, shrea,the peace in your soul will return and gradually, your sweet House in the Roses will be resurrected.

    Birthday hugs!

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    1. Thank you for the birthday wishes dear Barbara! And yes, "Shrea, shrea"...
      oh, soul, may you always remember that!

      Hugs

      Cielo

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  9. It will take time (and yes, money) to restore your home. It is another journey, and you are up to it. Maybe not today, but very soon you will be blest with positive energy. I believe restoring your garden, though hard work, will bring out the joy you have deep within. All this winter, you can olan and dream of your restored and improved garden of roses. You onow the fairy folk have never left there, they just slumbered, waiting for their beloved Cielo.

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    1. Gracias querida amiga... how lovely the thoughts expressed in your words. Thank you!

      Un abrazo

      Cielo

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  10. Cielo,
    I am so sad about the House of Roses. I can understand how you feel. You expect others to care for your home the way you would. You always radiate peace and joy so don't be so hard on yourself. You have every right to feel betrayed. You will create a happy home once again.....hugs.

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    1. Thank you for feeling my feelings with me my friend... you are all so valuable and precious to me... thank you.

      Cielo

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  11. Happy Birthday--although I'm sure you didn't have time to even celebrate. I am so sad about how those folks treated your lovely home! Renters can do that. They don't care because it isn't their "stuff". I guess you will have to think of it as a new adventure and you have a new slate to imprint with your personality.

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    1. Thank you for your birthday wishes... and how lovely the thought... and so true!: "a new adventure and you have a new slate to imprint with your personality."
      Love it!

      Hugs and blessings to you

      Cielo

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  12. I am so sorry to hear about your renters. When growing up we could not afford to buy a house so my parents always rented one. I remember when we moved from house to house, my Mom would go back on the last day and clean everything. She told that no matter what the house looked like when we moved in she wanted it clean when we left.

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    1. Thank you Betty! And thank you for being here with me...

      Hugs

      Cielo

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  13. Cielo: I am also sorry to hear of the state of your house. I don't understand people who do not value their reputation and leave rental properties in disrepair. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you continue down this path of transition. You are a strong woman and will survive this. Hugs.

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    1. Thank you Joanie... precious prayers, and precious friends...

      Blessings and hugs

      Cielo

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  14. Happy Birthday Cielo. I hope your day is filled with joy and happiness.

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    1. Thank you Sherry... still need to answer your email... very sweet and thoughtful... I truly appreciate it. I just got back home, or to our little white cottage and we've been so busy, I practically just don't have time for nothing else other than packing and taking things to the GoodWill... thank you for your good wishes and thoughts.

      cielo

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  15. I'm so sorry about the state of your house in the roses. We have rental property and sometimes have had so much to do to repair. One time the guy took every light bulb in the place when they left.

    I do hope to had a lovely birthday. I know your home will be so pretty when everything is to your liking again.

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    1. Thank you for the birthday wishes, Renee... what people-renters do! Crazy, aint' it! ;)

      Thanks for stopping by

      cielo

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  16. Oh dear..my heart cries for you..your beautiful Cottage.I am sure you will make new memories and we look forward to seeing them here.I always come here because it lightens my heart to view your pages..I have had a very sad month where three of my fur babies crossed Rainbow Bridge.xxx

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    1. Oh so sorry to hear that... I hope time will heal the sorrow soon... I shall go visit.

      Cielo

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